I’d spent my whole life trying to help people – if they asked I would do it (unless it was cleaning my room!!)
I figured if I could add value to people’s lives, then I would be considered a good person who made the world around them a better place.
However as the years rolled by, I realised that notion had strings attached – yes, I wanted to help people, but it wasn’t about making an impact, it was more about helping people to like me!
It seems that in my early years I discovered that if I was nice to people and did stuff to help them (often without charge), then they wouldn’t be angry with me, they’d look upon me favourably, or maybe they’d even like, accept and include me.
But when they didn’t, I felt “used & abused”.
And that was when I realised the dark truth – my “helping” was an emotional manipulation to get something from someone that I wanted, and when I didn’t get the desired result, I was hurt.
Recognising where the hurt came from was a huge shock, as I never saw it as an emotional string that I’d unconsciously attached, so I decided to release the string and I still did the same things, somehow expecting that it would make a difference, telling myself it would be different because I had no agenda.
However that only left me sad, lonely, exhausted, disillusioned and broke!
No, they weren’t taking anymore, they were receiving – In actual fact while people appreciated me more and I didn’t feel used and abused, the sad realisation was that I’d done more and given more, and their cups were full … and they were gone on their merry way, … and my coffers were still empty … my heart, my soul, and my bank account … and no-one was offering to help me like I was helping others.
I’d spent years, literally YEARS helping people set up their lives and businesses so they could go on to live lives that they loved, but I’d done so without ever recognising that I’d missed doing it for myself.
I had become a pretzel trying to please everyone else around me just so I could gain favour, be loved, or avoid conflict.
That day I asked myself what was the difference? Why couldn’t it be my turn? When was I going to have the life of my dreams? … People around me that loved me for me, who wanted to spend time with me just because I’m me and not what I can do for them? When was I going to have what I wanted? When was it my turn to receive health wealth & abundance like the people that I admired had?
And as I sat there that day, I must say I was a little shell-shocked because in my heart and mind, I just wanted to be loved, I just wanted to be a good person, I just wanted to feel whole!
Something was missing – a deep fundamental part of me ached. I was tired of running around like a chook with no head. I was searching, trying to fill the hole that was inside of me.
Trying to feel worthy of being on the planet.
And then I remembered something I’d heard on an old Amway Tape that was left lying around where someone quoted William H. Johnson …
“If it is to be, it’s up to Me!”
If I wanted people to love me, then it was up to me to love myself first.
We are supposed to be the first example of how we should be treated.
If I wasn’t loving me, then how could anyone else love me?
If I wasn’t respecting myself, then how could I think that anyone else would respect me?
If I didn’t honour myself and treat myself right, then how would others know how to treat me?
And if I allow that treatment to continue, then it says more about me than them!!
So I began a Journey of Discovery, to find out what was important to me, to discover what I did and didn’t like, to know what was acceptable to me and what wasn’t.
And I began to pull all the pieces of me back together and I DECIDED that I was worth more.
I had to be worth more, right?
Surely I wasn’t put on this earth to be mistreated and taken advantage of, all in the name of the love and appreciation that I never received?
I wasn’t a doormat! So why did I lay down like one?
It was time to stand.
It was time to plant my flag.
Not for anyone or anything else like I did before, … this time it had to be for me!
Because I DECIDED that I was worth more.
I had a huge vision for my life, but that day I had to be brutally honest with myself …
Was I EVER going to make that vision come to life while I was giving my power away? Giving every part of me away?
No, of course not!
That was in 2009. So I’d been on this Journey of Discovery for 3 years before I founded this business, trying to establish the ground rules, learning how to uphold my boundaries, and know what was and wasn’t ok for me … and no it wasn’t always easy!
But I persisted because I decided I was worth it!
Because if I didn’t decide I was worth it, who would?
So after some pretty profound soul-searching moments, deepening my commitment to loving and honouring myself at each point, and stepping up to the plate to become the person I truly wanted to be, I then found a place in 2017 where I could truly be me – truly authentic, totally unapologetic, and absolutely solid in my commitment to my brighter better future.
And what do you know? I have become unshakable in my belief.
Every day I have positive impact, not just helping people, but real, solid, positive impact that actually makes a difference in people’s lives.
Every day I get to live my passion.
Every day I prosper and grow.
Every day I help a beautiful group of people level up so they can become the best version of themselves.
And now I get paid, I get thanked, I get told how I’ve helped them, and I get asked how I created such an amazing life?
And I simply answer …
“I Created it by Design!”
You see I’ve lived, I’ve learned, I’ve had an almost indescribable journey, but I’ve collected vast amounts of valuable resources, tools, skills and abilities, and more importantly, … I’ve got to know the ‘Real’ me, and I crafted it!
And I love it!!
So now I’ve put it together in such a way that I get to use all of it to help others who want to Live their Best Life and Grow Their Business Beautifully.
You’re welcome to come join us – Just let me know here!
Until Next Time …
Love, J. xxOOxx